We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
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