remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Randomize
