does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
Randomize
