I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
Randomize
