Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
Randomize