I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
I really wish I could go back in time to change the course of events that led to me sitting on the internet at 3 Googling 'Traumatic masturbation' while talking to you about failed dates, and running a virtual restaurant in a video game.
Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Randomize
