"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
You handed J your Mayan-pocalypse shopping list and told him he wasn't getting laid unless he brought everything on it. Where is he supposed to get a live goat?!
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
Randomize
