You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
Randomize
