If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
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