i wanted to iron the shorts i'm wearing. but i'm high and lazy. so i'm using my hair straightener. in bed.
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
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