It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
Randomize
