Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
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