you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
You realize that if you get murdered while we're talking, I'm gonna have to explain to your next of kin why the last thing on your phone is a picture of my boobs.
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
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