Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
Randomize
