OMG I just tried to text you something dirty but accidentally texted the obama campaign
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
Randomize