just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
Randomize
