checking your phone to see who you drunk dialed last night isnt as funny when you see you had a 17 minute call to your dad.
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
Randomize
