Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
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