I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
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