So I'm eating my burger minding my own business, when the guy next to me starts up a conversation. Seemed normal at first, stocks, bonds, etc...then he said...and I quote "I can push a bowling-ball up a flight of stairs with my tongue." As I awkwardly laughed he broke out "I bet you I could bite the head off of a rabbit."
they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
Randomize
