Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
Randomize
