How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
Randomize
