i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
I can't put those talents on a resume
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
Randomize
