You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
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