I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
Randomize
