It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
Randomize