Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
Randomize
