We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
I just counted my steps so I know when you start looking for you on my way back from the bathroom
You know how us drunks love counting steps
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
Randomize
