you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
Randomize
