She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
the cop asked if i was drunk and i responded with "breathalize me, cap'n". incidentally, he was a captain and i blew a .13.
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
Randomize
