I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
Randomize
