Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
You high fived me for banging your sister but lock me outta house bc I ate your pumpkin pie? Priorities bro
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
Still dying that you shit outside
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
Randomize
