So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
Randomize
