he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
Randomize
