3:12 am: but i thought i was coming over tonight, don't fall asleep i wore new underwear
I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
Just woke up in bed, AC on high, with a fresh pack of smokes, an unopened pint of vodka, and a bag w a beef patty w cheese in it. I think my roommate's like the toothfairy or something. Or that was way more Xanax than I needed.
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
Randomize
