the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
I'm passing your future prison.
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
Randomize