Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
Randomize
