Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
Randomize
