Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
Randomize
