I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
Randomize