waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
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