Left my ID again and at a Giant's game. This is the second time they accepted my handgun safety certificate as proof of ID to buy beer.
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
Remember when you laughed that I downloaded a “fireplace” station on my Roku? I just woke up butt naked on my couch with my fireplace station playing. So there, guess that shows you. Now excuse me while I go back to sleep in front of my fireplace.
Randomize
