My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
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