Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
I found a video of myself completely naked on my phone giving a drunk tutorial on how to shit properly while blindfolded. Did you record it?
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
Randomize
