Betty ford says i'm here all night
He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
Randomize
