I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
No one should have to go to work between Christmas and New Years, but here I am twirling in my office chair and putting Jack in my coffee like I’m back in college studying for finals.
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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