He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
My friend wants your phone number so you can teach her how to take a beer bong. She saw you doing them last night and got jealous.
Just tell her to open her throat. I don't want to talk to anyone who is jealous of someone who woke up this morning with a cat in their shirt as a result of that glorious beer bonging skill.
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
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