thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
life lesson #1: a fart during an awkward silence between 2 strangers doesnt make it less awkward.
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
I think people are normalizing furries
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
Randomize
