I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
My mom just walked in on me naked taking a shit and packing a bowl...the only comment she makes is, she wants her Tupperware back after my pot's out of it. Best mom ever.
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
