I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
That was before I lit my hair on fire
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
Randomize
