She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
Randomize
