The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
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