UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
Randomize
