I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
A homeless guy wouldnt accept my granola bar because he didnt have any teeth. I think i win the prize for the ultimate rejection
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
These tits shall not be calmed
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
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