I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
Randomize
