dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
Randomize
