Can i not drive my cunt home
oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink.
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
Randomize
