Where are you?
In a non slutty way
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
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