Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
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