Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
Randomize
