So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
Official reason: I couldn't get time off. The real reason: last Xmas nearly ended in alcohol poisoning to prevent me from screaming like a velociraptor
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
Randomize
